Excuse me while I eat my paycheck

Between food events, Jensiuchi B&B weekends, organic produce, specialty foods, new restaurants, new outfits to wear to fancy restaurants, new shoes to go with the new outfit…  I’m eating my way into the poorhouse.  All of this only adds to the fact that everywhere that I want to travel is pretty much on the “list” because of the food.  Argentina = wine.  Italy = pasta.  Hong Kong = dumplings.  South Pacific = beachfront dining. The list could go on for days.

You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here? [insert Talking Heads reference] I find myself wondering why the hell people in my life have always found it necessary to take photos of me mid-bite.  The collage above seriously spans almost 30 years of face stuffing.  I blame my dad.

I think that based on the evidence above, you would also agree that it’s my dads fault.  When in doubt, blame your parents, right?  I mean… he, my mom, AND my Grandmas (yes, BOTH) have owned up to being responsible for my shoe addiction.  So, if I end up at Money Tree trying to get an advance on my paycheck, we’ll ALL know who to blame.  And while we’re placing blame, I think I will blame Sesame Street for my constant need for change.

After nearly 10 years together, I hope Bryan is used to my only-child demands, which include constantly trying new restaurants or old restaurants with changing seasonal menus.  And BTW, it is not super sad that my own husband is the guy who orders the same thing off the menu from the same restaurant always.  BO-ring!

And there’s no end in sight to my need to try new restaurants.  I have a map; a digital, ever-expanding map of all the places that I want to eat at.  It’s gotten so extensive that I have looked into mapping programs to create layers on my map.  What if I only want to see coffee/drink places; or places I haven’t been; or even just see places that focus on seafood?!  Yeah, it’s become an unhealthy ongoing obsession.

Coming from a dual-income household with no children, we have a lot of disposable income to spend on food.  Unless vacationing, I refuse Safeway and happy going to Whole Foods to spend $3.99/lb for tomatoes or $7.99/lb for cherries.  I’m also not too good to beg Lia to bring me more Rachel’s Ginger Beer from the farmers market for an $8.00 growlette refill (she’s probably eating her paycheck too, since she never asks me to pay her back).  And good god do I love to eat out at new restaurants…  Remember my recent trip to Canlis?  Yeah.  Heaven in my mouth.

This map needs to be destroyed immediately to save my wallet.

Although I constantly whine that my overall spending is out of control, I just can’t imagine giving up my food spending.  Afterall, you NEED food to survive. No one will notice if I’m old and shop at Forever 21 for knockoff trendy clothing.  And I’ll just keep wearing those shoes with a minor rip in them…  how many people are really going to notice anyways?  My stomach will be more offended than my feet. So worst case scenario is that I’ll end up sad and wandering the streets in my PJs with socks and sandals.  Someone save me now.

Maybe I should stop buying nailpolish.

Image courtesy of Urban Outfitters

UPDATE: Those holes got the best of me and I have since purchased 7 8 pairs of shoes in the last month.  Sales are the devil and another story for another day.

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